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Tips For Getting Laid
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some tips for you.
1. Be yourself
and you can be anything.
People can smell fakery like bad B.O., and no one wants to sleep with someone that stinks. Be yourself and not only will someone sleep with you, it will probably be someone that likes you and that you like in return, on account of all the truth and honesty and shared interests and ideas and fairies and glitter and puppies and salt & vinegar chips and die hard.
2. Don’t be a
total dick.
If you’re a dick, DO NOT be yourself. People only want to sleep with dicks in a literal sense; being one figuratively will most certainly not get you laid.
3. Spend lots of
money.
As much as people like to be “independent” and “self-sufficient,” there’s nothing romantic about splitting a bill on the first date. If you asked someone out, pay. Take them somewhere fancy and you increase what they owe you from head-job to sex. Just kidding, they don’t owe you jack, but if rap music is anything to go by, Rollin’ in the Benjamin is a goddamn aphrodisiac.
4.
Be good looking.
I
live in the belief that no one is ugly, but I also acknowledge that
some are more blessed with natural aesthetic than others. If you are
one of these then good for you! You are going to get laid!
5.
At the very least, smell good.
If you don’t look like a Disney Prince or Bey once, it’s OK, make sure you’re extra clean.
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